Cries of the unloved

Plans for a Better future.

2008-06-29T07:14:00.001-07:00

Argh i really need to get a hold of my life!Everything is in a goddamn mess.I'm fat,single and not doing so well in my studies.My social life is horrible.The only people i talk to each day are guys.
Quote from south park : This SUCKS ass!
And i mean it.Every single word.So now what I think I should do is to stop dwelling in self pity and get something done!
I promised to get thin before i can find a girlfriend and goddamn it i need one,BAD.
So before i go crazy with loneliness i bloody heck better get thin.
But the thing is to get thin,saying it is so easy.It's bloody hell hard with something divinely stupid in our body(nafsu untuk makan) which is exceptionally huge for me.I can't bloody stop eating.But I took the first step today.I stopped myself from buying supper.Thanks to that i feel both shitty and proud(for being goddamn hungry).
I'm not in a very happy mode now =(
I feel so lonely.I have no one to talk to.I jz reached this shithole,AGAIN.I wonder if I will ever be able to get rid of this feeling i feel.I dun like not having people around me.I cling on to them!!!!!Which of course is a bad thing.
Alright alright enough with all the complains rite?
Self note : Start by eating less,go jogging,play more sports,put on a MORE friendly face each day,smile to strangers(not all ~_~).
Hopefully things will get better in life.
AND owh my god i miss my mum and my family and my friends sooooo muchhhhhhh.
Hating you all for making me miss You all so much.I don't expect anyone to read this cause this IS supposed to be me pouring my thoughts and left as my thoughts.

Plans plans And Plans!

2007-12-29T10:26:00.000-08:00

Some people plan.Some don't.They just go with the flow.Which is better?
I have two days left in Penang.I was gonna go crazy trying to think of something to do,an activity that was going to be very memorable.Face it.Penang is so small.You either go to a mall,walk around,watch a movie or two or you can have breakfast,lunch,dinner or supper together.If you get more creative like we did,you would organize stuff like barbeque parties,visiting the islands around us like Pulau Jerejak or Pulau Aman or go to Auto City.Well there is also clubbing~ but we don't really go that often.What else is there to do?Hmmm...Nah that pretty much covers it!
However,I came to realise something today.Do we really need all these plans?Do we really have to do something just to have fun?No!I had so much fun today.What did I do?Stupid things.Haha.I went for a bowl of Chendol and a spoonful of Penang's famous Indian noodle,literally cause i was quite full and i took a bite from my friend =) then we went over to Gurney and I went and buy a hair product called moving rubber.Later that night we went to Sega for a drink and later to a mamak stall for some food.Thing is,although it might sound boring to some people,it was pretty damn fun!We got to talk,just sit and hang out.What's so bad about that?
People don't understand the bliss of doing nothing!
I guess this post is kinda meaningless but I just felt like saying this.This is my blog so LIKE i care what anyone thinks =P

Life's Philosophy?

2007-12-27T10:35:00.001-08:00

I am gonna state the obvious now.In life we go through ups and downs.It alternates between each other to so called 'balance' the ying and the yang.
I know about this whole balancing thingy but WHY do i have to go through so much downs at times?Is it really that bad to always have fun and be happy?Does life really have to be THAT complicated?
Now,in my life,when does this 'ups' occur and when does the 'downs' do?
Ups occur when i hang out with my friends,doing very interesting things together,laughing and not a single one is on a 'turn off' mode.It also occurs when I have a great time with my mother and my family.When i can just sit and talk with them,spend time with them,i feel the greatest joy and satisfaction.Then,there are those times when i do well in my studies,or some sport or something is accomplished,it always makes me feel so good.The thing is,why won't these things just stay and be like that forever?Why must there be something or someone always ruining it?
The 'downs'.When does it happen?Simple.When someone turns me off by saying something i hate,DO something i really hate and just make me go mad!Then there is the family issues that no one seems to be able to avoid.The thing is,I don't only feel mad,it also makes me sad,it's a terrible feeling that is undescribable.There will be THAT feeling that my heart feels.A void,where something feels amiss and just hurts so much.
God enlighten me.
Show me a way to overcome this 'downs'.
Guide me to a healthier life cause this feeling that I am feeling now hurts,bad.

Christmas Day Celebration!

2007-12-24T11:19:00.000-08:00

Ok i gotta admit,things did not start off as well as i planned it.I had to go through some pretty rough start,had a few emotional twist and some loud shouting before my day got to the better side of things.It started off with the movie enchanted.Although i missed like 30 minutes of the movie because i had to wait for my friend,the movie was still awesome!It was simple and childish and yet i cant help but enjoy the movie so much.It was hillarious,touching and most of all the music were good.Then we went over to my friend's uncle's hse for a christmas party.He organizes it every year.This year marks the fourth year i celebrate christmas at his hse.Gosh i am getting old.I jz had so much fun there.The food was good,the wine was good,we laughed,we took pictures and we jz enjoyed ourselves soo much.After that we went over to gurney for the countdown.Damn i didn't want to get involved in the snow spray fight but some ppl jz noe how to get to my nerves =P they kept spraying and spraying at me and that made me waste my precious money buying the sprays to get even =) The nice thing about this spray thingy is when we 'gangbang' certain ppl and jz shoot their asses to the ground!Damn that jz feels so good~
But i got shot at so many blooody times i lost count.To think that my friends will help defend me.Yea Right!They started complotting and betrayed me!!!!!I was Sprayed BAD!
Well after that we went over to McD and sat there for an hour or so and jz talked.Talking is always a good way to end the day nicely.Hehe.
After bathing and seriously feel so damn clean,here i am telling u guys about my christmas celebration!It's as good as it can get,so thanks to all who made it successful!

The Almost Perfect Day

2007-12-22T21:09:00.000-08:00

Running out of things to do,no,not exactly running out of things to do but jz quite sick of the same old hanging out at the mall stuff,me and my friends decided to organize a bbq party!
It was a 'one day' plan but it turned out pretty damn well!
Wanna know why?Read on =)
So my friend and I went shopping to buy the food and drinks which are obviously essential for a bbq party,duh?haha jz kiddin =P
I was practically the one that was in charge of everything,the pit used was mine,the skewers,the icebox,the chilli and tomato!and i paid the most for the food as well,urgh~
So when we arrived at the beach and started laying out the pits and charcoal to start the fire,i realised we did not bring some goddamn chairs!So me and my friend walked around to find some log or rock or something that can be used.Unfortunately we couldn't find anything!We went into the Crown Prince Hotel and my friend told me to ask the receptionist for some newspaper and told me to 'sut' which means steal the papers!I was no way man!I ain't that cheap =P
We walked to a nearby mini market and guess what?The damn place didn't have what we were looking for!And we walked so far for nothing!Gosh.
Finally while walking by the carpark we saw a site with a lot of bricks and we both took 4 pieces of it.The stupid thing is that the bloody carpark is jz rite behind our freakin bbq site,and I stupidly walked so far,grrr!
We started bbq-ing after that!The sausages,crab balls,chicken balls and nuggets were not jz bbq-ed like that!We put butter and honey on it and guess how it tasted?MAGNIFICO!Personally i've never bbq-ed with honey but damn it makes food taste good!
Owh i think i forgot to mention,we had lots of booze that nite!I think we had like a dozen cans =)
Arghh how can i forget to say this!
The moon was soooo beautiful!I was seriously awed.It was a full moon and it made the beach view so magical.Jz standing there and listening to the waves,it was like the most beautiful view i've ever seen in my life!
Well after the bbq we went over to my friend's hse and had a few beer.We laughed,talked and jz enjoyed ourselves.I had two cans and i was already red all over.Don't laugh!That's supposed to be a good thing coz it means your blood can circulate and distributes the heat all over your body =)
After i arrived at my home and after bathing i jz laid at my bed and read a couple chapters of Tuesdays with Morrie,then i played 2 games with my friend,talked and talked a lot and after that sleep!
Thats what i would describe as a Perfect Day.
Wanna know why its jz almost perfect?
COZ
I was sick the entire time!
I was having a terrible flu and cough!Wait,its not was coz i still have it rite now!Grrrr!
Well that's about everything that happened,and i had a good time.That's all that really matters when it comes to the end of the day,don't u think so?

owh i'm back~

2007-12-18T22:42:00.000-08:00

hi!
i know it's been like a million years since i am here pouring out my heart and soul,
nah i am jz kidding.
so lets see what is new in my life ->
in this 20 day holidays that i have lived so far,i feel like it is one of the best times i've had in my entire life!
i've gone places and done things that are so 'eye opening' and jz had plain FUN with my friends.
gosh i love u guys =) without you there won't be all this stuff for me!
so lets see what i jz did recently,owh yea i went to pulau aman and seberang perai coz my friend invited me and some other friends over to his hse for some seafood and well,sort off hanging out.
so what was pulau aman like?
gosh it was soo beautiful,well except for its usual kampung-ish smell that can seriously make u wanna puke,but the villagers there are soo friendly.
we saw a pretty darn 'tempting' coconut tree while walkin around the island so my friend's father decided to buy some of it from the villager that owns that tree.she was one dangerous lady though.she tried to trick us!wanted to sell the coconuts for 2 bucks!of coz we negotiated and she let it go at a ringgit =) but that was way cheap for coconuts THAT fresh!
after we ate the coconut,we walked over to the most beautiful side of the island to visit the TELAGA MAS.it is said to be a legendary well,but in my opinion it was ntg much reli, heh heh.
but the nice thing after that,we saw a freakin heavy raining cloud coming towards our way.the thing is that instead of running against it we ran TOWARDS it coz its our way back,ishk.
instead of feeling terrible i actually felt so damn good!
running across the island under the rain made me feel so damn good and that was one of the most beautiful things i've even seen or ever experienced!
however i have to go ruin it myself by almost running out of breath!
gosh i soooo need to lead a healthier lifestyle -.-
so after that i can feel something called hunger calling,hehe.
we stopped by to eat the famous mee udang and as the name says,its actually pretty damn good.but i ate fried rice and it was good also.the thing is,the prawns they gave were jz plain huge and for a freakin cheap price too!wanna find out how big and how cheap it is?go there yourselves!!!=P
so after that we went back to the mainland and for dinner guess what did we have for dinner?
i guess u guessed it,seafood!
we ate at some shop that i so dumbly forgot the name to @_@
but anyways,the food there was good,spicy,but good.i dun know what is wrong with me these days,i jz LOVE spicy food.i was never like that.hmm~
after thanking my friend's parents we went back to penang and stopped by at queensbay for some shoppin.my friend LINKAH went and bought himself some underwear XD
he better not read this or i am so dead =P
its renoma btw,the brand XD XD XD
then i came back home.instead of having the internet USUALLY,i have to wait for my freakin brother to stop using it before i can take it.grrrrr.owh yea i lost all the freakin 5 games i played!!!!omfg man!!!!i had to go to sleep feeling like loser!
grrrr!!!but here i am bloggin about it.so jayvian wont keep pestering me to do this!
till next time!
i hope it wont be that long =P

sunway life~~~

2007-08-14T03:58:00.000-07:00

haahahaha....a continuation to my previous blog...
so let's see...new happenings in life in sunway...well today for the very first time after like 40 days in kl...i woke up late!!!i din have time to prepare my lunch and branch....needed to waste lots of money to buy the stupid and lousy and very expensive food from the dumb sunway cafeteria...hahhaa....
owh yea!!my first real test after like 8 months...MATH TEST!!!luckily i managed to finish the whole paper...it was tough...my brain was reli reli rusty...hahaha...i was so nervous and my hands were like freezing the whole time...lolz...
there are still two exams left....stupid physics and chem...
hoho yea...in chem today....it was so boring............and i ran out of words to describe the class =.=
hahaha...
in malaysian studies however...it was nice...got to talk a lot...hahahaah....made lots of new friends...i mean not reli make new friends...get to know already-existing friends better...hahaha...
and without me realising...its already so near to friday....wow....in three days i am going back to penang!
again!!!
i cant wait for it...hahhaa...missing it quite terribly already...have to go to a prom where i have no date...sad...
i will look like a fool there...but wat to do wat to do...thats life....haiz...
erm as pictures are concerned....i will post some after i get my new handphone...then i can take some photos can post it up to make it look more interesting.....hahaaha...
well i guess that's it for now...gotta go and sleep already...later have to study physics some more....haizz...i hate exams....hmmm....
ok thats it....
ciaoz~

owhh muh very FIRST blog!

2007-08-09T07:37:00.000-07:00

Hey hey..welcome to my very first blog...hahaha..since i am new here i am not exactly sure what i am gonna write...so it might be a load of crap but jz bare with me...hahha
here goes...
i am gettin my NEW phone soon!!!
owh yea owh yea owh yea...after like 5 years using the same old phone...hahaha...but i still miss it la...i so stupidly lost it...all the pictures and information inside...sad...
owh i am paying for the phone...i mean part of it...and that makes me like so proud...coz i never reli paid for anything myself...hahaaha...
so lets see what else i can talk about...
owh yea life in sunway(kl) is gettin better and better as time goes by...hahaha..i still remember the first day i came here...i was gonna cry already...i was SOOo homesick and i missed everything back in penang...but now i am beginning to like kl...there are so many places to go to...new ppl to meet...new things to experience and all...
owh yea...i am gonna go to my very first prom in my life!
and its without a date!!
damn it....anyone wanna go with me????
lolz....
rite before i forget....i wrote my very first essay today since like....9 months ago...and it was soo crappy i feel like killing myself!!!!
hahahaha...
ok thats it for my first blog...more to come when i am free...and believe me when i say it will come very fast...coz i am like always free...heheehhe....toodlez~